Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Back to the Basics...

Okay. I have been dealing with all kinds of crap for the past two weeks which has rendered me unable to work out and eat the way I want to. I have also been dealing with a lot of negative feelings about myself. Let's face it: I am completely depressed over how much weight I have gained. I have been thinking a lot about what I could change and do differently. What could have gone wrong over the past year that has caused such an enormous, depressing change in my size?! I have tried so many things--I gave up dairy, I gave up meat, I gave up sugar, I started killing my knees by running etc., etc., etc. Nothing has worked. I just keep getting bigger and bigger and more and more depressed. At the beginning of the year I had said I was going to start weighing myself weekly and see where it went. Well after a few weeks of that I just about threw the freaking scale across the room. And I am so not kidding. Way too depressing.

Here is my new plan. Back to Body For Life. I am going HARD CORE on BFL. I think that possibly one explanation for my weight gain has been a gradual, unintentional increase in portion sizes. I have done Body For Life twice (after 2 pregnancies) and it worked each time. So, I am going to do it again--perfectly. If, after 12 weeks, I have not lost a significant amount of weight I will find a doctor and they will figure out what is wrong with me.

On that note--today I did great! I am still not feeling well (it's getting old), but I went ahead with my plan.

I did 30 minutes on the elliptical before breakfast, which was two slices of french toast on whole wheat bread with some peanut butter and banana. No picture, sorry!

I ate breakfast late, so instead of a snack, I just had lunch. I recently (while sick and unable to eat much of anything) discovered this delicious soup--

So I even measured my portions and had one cup of soup as my veggie serving, five crackers and some grapes as my carb and a piece of light string cheese as my protein. For fun I calculated my whole lunch was a mere 250 calories.

Afternoon snack was whole wheat toast with peanut butter, bananas and a drizzle of local honey. Yum.

Dinner today was egg salad sandwiches. I had mine open faced on homemade whole wheat bread with lots of added veggies--celery, lettuce, tomatoes, purple onions and sprouts. I did have one more small slice of bread plain because I wanted to taste it. I added ground millet and quinoa along with the wheat flour, so I wanted to see if it tasted any different. It was good.
Tonight I did an upper body workout and I have been making a conscious effort to chug water like a crazy person. For the time being I'm off DC again.

So, back to the basics. Wish me luck. I really need this to work.


keri said...

Lindsey, don't be so hard on your self. All the pictures I see of you - you look great! I love how you prepare such yummy foods. I don't have the motivation to plan out then shop! Years ago it was easier because I had kids to prepare for. But I'll have to write some of these down and shop. You have so many talents and abilities, a great family, you are truly blessed! I love you, Aunt Keri

Priscilla said...

I have to agree with your aunt, you do look great. With that said, I also understand what you're feeling, but we are always hardest on ourselves. I think it's important for you to be sure it's just, possibly, as you say, a gradual increase in portion sizes, and not something medical going on. I know you won't post it on here, but how much weight gain are we talking? Is it logically explainable by something such as changes in your diet, or an exercise plateau or something? I think you are wise to go back to something that has worked for you in the past and try it again, and I hope it works for you again and you can get to where you feel content and happy with yourself as you are. You are a beautiful person. You are definitely one of the healthiest eaters and most dedicated exercisers I know, so I am very interested in seeing how things pan out for you over time. Hope you and everyone in your family gets better from all the crud soon! Too much sickness going around! :)

Becky said...

Lindsay, so sorry that you are dealing with such negative thoughts. That is something I deal with everyday and it's so hard. If you ever want to talk, I'm here for you. You are amazing!