Only dreaming

Even though I can't do anything remotely physical right now, I can dream. I lay around thinking about when I am able to work out again and how wonderful it is going to be. I dream about when I have the energy to cook good foods and plan good menus. I think about my goals that I have been making. I also look at catalogs and think that if I was rich, I would buy ALL my clothes from here:
Unfortunately, I am not rich. But if any of you are, I highly recommend Athleta. I fell in love with just about everything from their new catalog I got the other day.

I haven't been blogging a ton mainly because I am miserably ill. And there isn't a lot to say--I can't breathe, therefore I can't workout. I did go to the doctor on Thursday. She thinks it's a respiratory infection (really?) that is triggering my asthma. I could have told her that over the phone, but I did want the meds. Not that they seem to be helping. I feel worse today than ever. It's getting old.

Eating-wise I have been doing pretty much the same thing day in and day out. I just want HOT liquids to help my sore throat and chest congestion. I created a recipe for sugar-free hot chocolate since I didn't have any. It is really good!!

I just mix about 1/4 cup dry milk powder, 1 TBSP Truvia and 1TBSP cocoa powder together in a mug and add boiling water.
Some other easy meals over the past few days...
Pineapple melts--thanks to Kayla for the idea.
Baked apples with granola and vanilla yogurt.
I made an extra one to put on my daily oatmeal.
Fluffy pumpkin pancakes. No need to add extra veggies here!
And lots and lots of soup.

still...

I realize this blog has been pretty lame lately. I keep thinking this illness I am fighting off will blow over soon and instead I seem to be feeling worse every day. GRRRR

I used to be so good at taking pictures of everything I eat. I did take a picture of my morning medicinal routine for you...
Too bad all of those vitamins seem to be having absolutely no effect whatsoever.

Last night as I was lying in bed coughing, tossing and turning with body aches and struggling to breathe I decided that trying to work out in this state (as I have the past two days) would qualify me as being literally certifiable. So I didn't set my alarm and planned to sleep in and rest as much as I could. Well, Lincoln is just as sick if not sicker than I am and he was coughing so much at 5 am that I couldn't sleep anymore. So here I am blogging instead. At least I'm not attempting the elliptical!

Last night we had chicken kabobs with brown rice for dinner.
I just skewered chunks of chicken, green and red peppers, onions and whole mushrooms on the stick, then brushed them with a bit of olive oil and sprinkled them with Montreal chicken seasoning. I put them on the grill for just a few minutes--then YUM!! I actually think I would have enjoyed them just as much them if they were all mushrooms--that was absolutely my favorite part!!

Okay, off to play nurse...

Sick

I have spent most of the past three days resting on the couch. I never know what to do when I'm sick--how hard should I push myself? I do have bronchial asthma, so I have to be careful when I get respiratory infections. I made myself do 20 easy going minutes on the elliptical this morning, and I did a lower body strength session this afternoon. I feel a lot of pressure in my chest, so I have to really watch it. So annoying. My main focus right now is keeping my food portions small since I'm not expending much energy--I don't need to add any extra calories to the mix.

Still no word from the doctor. In this case no news is sucky news. No news means that they didn't find anything wrong with my blood work--which means there is no explanation for my weight gain. I have some ideas mulling around in my head that I am excited to share in a few days, though. Maybe when I'm feeling better.

Doctor's Orders

So I went to the doctor yesterday. It wasn't encouraging. They took my blood to do a test on my thyroid and a CBC to see if they can find anything else. But I get the idea that a lot of people come in to have their thyroid tested because the doctor seemed more intent on preparing me for the idea that the fact that I have gained 20 pounds in the last year has nothing to do with my thyroid, but with my lifestyle. I will get the results of the blood tests on Monday. In the meantime here were her suggestions for me:

1. Join Weight Watchers
2. Increase my cardio
3. Try to mix it up--i.e. ride a bike sometimes
4. Remember that muscle weighs more than fat
5. Accept the fact that I am getting older and my metabolism will just change

I really like my doctor but I wanted to SCREAM. I had just told her all about my lifestyle. I do not eat too much. I don't need Weight Watchers to tell me how to eat. I do cardio six freakin' days a week. I do mix it up. I know that muscle weighs more than fat--my problem is not with the number on the scale, it 's with the fact that my clothes don't fit. And I refuse to accept the fact that just because I am 34 I have to starve myself and work out six hours a day because my metabolism has slowed that much. I don't think so!!!!

I will start increasing my cardio. What else can I do? Maybe I need to find a specialist. I just can't accept the fact that I would gain that much weight in a year just because I am one year older. It doesn't make sense. Simple science dictates that weight is a matter of calories in/calories out. There is NO WAY I consistently take in more calories than I expend. There HAS to be something else going on.

Well, I'll have some answers on Monday--hopefully. I have to say, I find this all extremely discouraging and depressing. And I'm sorry to keep whining to you guys about it. Thanks for sticking with me.

Dreaming

I kept dreaming all night last night that I was sick in bed and achy all over and I just wanted someone to take care of me. Guess how I woke up feeling this morning?

Story of my life.

Yesterday I did my 30 minutes on the elliptical in the morning and I did P90x Ripper X (to be said in a deep echoing voice, like a Monster Truck announcer) and Pilates in the afternoon for my cross training day.

For lunch I made a sandwich using a leftover piece of Parmesan chicken--yum!
And the kids' afterschool snack was what I called apple pie sticks. I just made breadsticks and added apple pie spice and raisins. They were a big hit.
Don't expect too much from me today...

Jeans

So here is what I ate today. In it's entirety.

1/2 cup plain oatmeal
1/2 cup unsweetened almond milk
1/2 cup blueberries
approximately 25 chopped almonds
3/4 cup Oatmeal Squares cereal
1/2 cup plain non-fat Greek yogurt
1 tsp. Agave nectar
1/2 cup whole wheat pasta
1/3 cup pasta sauce
1 thinly sliced, baked organic chicken breast prepared with reduced fat Parmesan and bread crumbs
1 apple

I got up and did thirty minutes on the elliptical. I did lower body this afternoon. I ran for an additional 25 minutes when Ryan got home from work.

SO WHY ARE MY JEANS NOT FITTING ME?! This is how I live my life! It's not like this is some sort of new routine for me (well--I added in the running because I have never really encountered a fat runner, so I thought it might help.) Why is it that even though I am doing everything right, everything is going wrong?!

I have been particularly depressed about this today because of the jeans I wore. I specifically remember wearing them at an event last September. I hated them because they were so baggy and they felt as if they weren't going to stay on. Today, while I was able to zip them, it wasn't pretty and I was sporting a ridiculous muffin top. THIS IS NOT FAIR!!!

That doctor better be able to fix me on Friday, because if something doesn't change soon they are going to have to put me on suicide watch. I wish I could be content with the fact that I am healthy, but I have to admit, as shallow as it is, my entire self-esteem pretty much revolves around how I look. It's just not good.

But this chicken was.

I'm Back!

Everything normal in my life has been on the backburner lately. The push has been on to finish our pergola before Oct. 31st which is the deadline that the HOA gave us. So last night, after painting for over six and a half hours, I finally finished!! We still need to finish some other big projects, but those are things I can't really do a lot on by myself, so now I will have more time to get back to things like blogging regularly, cooking, cleaning and showering. At least during the week.

Here is the finished pergola. We still have to finish the patio, finish the side yard and paint the front door and shutters...but this has been a HUGE project!! I'm glad it's done.
I have been putting the kids in charge of their own school and home lunches lately and it has been very interesting to see what they choose. I put all of their lunch foods on one shelf in the pantry and they get to just do their own thing. The girls have both been taking baggies of baby spinach to school for their snack! And the other day this is the lunch Chloe made for herself:
Apple, spinach, cucumber and banana.

And here is this morning's breakfast--whole wheat french toast with sweet potato puree and chia seeds.
It's so good to be back.

Bounteous Harvest

Not ours, unfortunately. Luckily I have generous friends that had MUCH better luck with their gardens than we did. Look at my yummy lunch for today:
All those cucumbers and tomatoes were from a friend's garden and there are TONS more!!
Last night I made Mediterranean Tilapia for dinner. It was supposed to be Halibut, but Tilapia is so much cheaper. I really liked and the kids ate it, so that is a plus.
Workout today was elliptical in the am and lower body in the pm. Plus I have been working hard every day at painting our pergola out back so that's got to be doing something.

I made an appt. to see my doctor this coming Friday to have my thyroid checked. Thyroid problems do run in my family so we will see what comes of it. There has to be some explanation. I am getting really depressed about the way I look, so I hope the doctor can help!!

Good Things

Making the kids hot, whole wheat breakfast bread pudding with sweet potato puree for breakfast on a cool, fall morning.

Watching the leaves change!

Finishing part of a huge project.

Having a friend that brings you fresh, crisp apples from her parents' 100 year old apple tree.

Making fresh multi-grain bread.

Eating sandwiches on fresh multi-grain bread.

Easy lunches.

Finding really yummy, low-sugar granola.
Not so good: being so busy that this is the extent of my blogging.

Miss me?

Nope, I haven't been out of town, just extremely busy. I am starting work with a new company that I am really excited about--but for the time being it is a bit time consuming. Tonight is the first night I haven't worked since last Sunday. And then I almost got arrested on Thursday evening...but that is another story.

I have been feeling so discouraged lately. I work out every day--usually for at least and hour and a half. I eat right. I sleep enough. And yet, I continue to gain weight and I am exhausted constantly. The weight gain probably wouldn't bother me too much if I didn't feel like I have a closet full of clothes that are too small for me. I don't want to buy a new wardrobe in a bigger size. There is simply no logical explanation as to why clothes that fit me just fine last year don't fit me now. So I am thinking of going to the doctor to see if she has a logical explanation. It is so frustrating, I can't even tell you. I don't even feel like I can give anyone else any advice, since I obviously can't figure it out for myself.

The colder fall weather finally hit today so we had a nice comfort food lunch. Grilled cheese, soup, grapes and squash. Well, I've never thought of squash as a comfort food, really, but it came out of our garden and I wanted to eat it.

Good Eating Day!

I did so well today. Yay me! I did 30 minutes on the elliptical and had plain oatmeal with almond milk and a hard boiled egg around 9:00. I worked in the yard all morning and had a meatloaf sandwich for lunch. I had made meatloaf for dinner the other night but I never got to eat it because I was working. It was really yummy on this sandwich thin. And lots of red grapes on the side!

I took a power nap--a habit that I think is more and more wonderful the more times I do it. Then I did more yard work and came in for a yogurt bowl snack. Today was my rest day for strength training--normally I would have liked to do some sort of cross training, but I really just need to work on the yard, so that will have to count! Dinner was Turkey Reuben Sandwiches. I used organic sourdough bread instead of rye because I don't like rye. You just assemble the sandwiches (reduced fat Swiss cheese, cold cut turkey, low fat Thousand Island dressing--watch out for HFCS!--and sauerkraut) then grill! Yummy!

Sometimes there just isn't enough chocolate

My life has been so busy lately and things just keep getting more and more complicated. Now Isaac (my oldest) has pneumonia. He has been home sick all week and can't go back to school until at least Thursday. I'm glad I took him to the doctor. But the stress of it all just makes me want to eat. Chocolate.

Needless to say, today was NOT a good eating day. I started out well. 30 minutes on the elliptical. Oatmeal for breakfast with a side of German Pancakes (mostly egg). But then things went downhill. My fault for not planning well (again.) I had a small snack on the way to the doctor's office. I started to drink a Weight Loss Shake but realized that the main ingredient is milk, which I am trying to eliminate from my diet. So I poured it down the sink and had some Annie's Bunny crackers. The doctor took way longer than I thought it would and I was starving by the time we stopped at Target to get the prescriptions filled. I ordered the pita chips and hummus in an effort to be good--but then I ended up eating 2 of Isaac's chicken strips because I was still hungry.

I was munchy all day and ended up just eating chocolate ice cream straight out of the carton! What is that?! It is obviously SO important that I keep to my schedule and try to plan ahead. The stupid thing is I had a Luna Bar in my purse for just such an occasion, but I forgot about it.

Well I did do more yard work today and I did a lower body workout this afternoon. It's just been a stupid day all around and I'm tired, my house is a mess and I'm GRUMPY.

Dinner was Caribbean Chicken Salad and it was yummy. And I ate a Goodness Knows Square afterward. This day will end eventually and then I can start all over again tomorrow. Yippee.

Moving rocks

I didn't blog about what I ate yesterday because it wasn't all that fascinating and I was BUSY. Oatmeal, egg, yogurt bowl, banana, some Annie's bunny crackers, protein shake, Vitatop, apple and string cheese. I got up and did my cardio, then I spent a large part of the day working in the backyard shoveling and moving landscaping river rock. I obviously wasn't thinking clearly when I decided to do an upper body workout after that! I am feeling muscles today that I didn't even know existed! It is good, though. I have a lot more work to do in the yard. If anyone wants a good work out, feel free to come help me move an enormous amount of rock!!
Do you see the little spot I cleared out yesterday? I did a bunch more in the backyard, too. Okay, back out to work I go!! (We HAVE to get this project finished before the snow hits!!)

Veggie Tales

I have been dreaming about vegetables. I'm not kidding or using some sort of figure of speech. I have literally been having dreams about vegetables. I love this book. It is by one of my all time favorite authors on the planet. It is non-fiction and extremely well written, but not by any means a quick read. And yes, this woman has an agenda. That comes across in all of her books, even the fiction ones. I happen to like her agenda in this one, so it doesn't bother me at all. If you watched and liked Food, Inc. you will love this one!! It is certainly changing the way I think about things. And I have already told Ryan of my plans for him to build even more planting beds in our backyard because I want to grow things! After that I'll be making my own cheese. (Who even knew you could do that?! I can't wait to try!!)

Naps and Snacks

Yesterday was pretty darn good, in terms of working out. I was able to do the elliptical in the morning, and then Lincoln and I were back in the saddle for our Thursday bike ride. And I did P90x Cardio Kenpo in the afternoon. I also took another afternoon nap and I'm thinking of making that part of my daily routine. Other cultures do it. I'm just trying to embrace those cultures. Just 30 minutes seems to make a big difference. This morning I woke up spontaneously at 5:45--I haven't done that in months!

I made the kids breakfast parfaits. Here is one of my cute kids holding his.

I had a simple roast beef sandwich and grapes for lunch. More and more I seem to be skipping my morning snack because I am simply not hungry for it.
Afternoon snack was a leisurely Luna bar eaten while I read a great book, Animal, Vegetable, Miracle by Barbara Kingsolver. It is right up my alley. The Luna bar was good, although still not that low in sugar (but lower than a lot of protein bars!!)
I made fish packets on the grill with brown rice for dinner. I dug into mine before I remembered to take a picture of it! Oops! Here is my half eaten dinner...
I made Mahi Mahi and Tilapia (because I had both) and decided I definitely prefer Tilapia. Good to know.

Today I went straight down to the gym when I woke up and got in a good lower body work out. I love waking up before my kids. It makes my whole day go a heck of a lot better! We all had oatmeal this morning.

Lunch was leftover fish and rice made into fish tacos.
And here is my afternoon snack:
Ryan had one of these:

They actually have a lot of protein (18 grams), but only 2 grams of sugar and they don't taste like sawdust! I guess we have a winner!

Dinner was homemade pizza with sweet potato crust, reduced fat mozzarella and turkey pepperoni--all shoved into my mouth as I ran out the door to work. Yum!