Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Jeans




So here is what I ate today. In it's entirety.

1/2 cup plain oatmeal
1/2 cup unsweetened almond milk
1/2 cup blueberries
approximately 25 chopped almonds
3/4 cup Oatmeal Squares cereal
1/2 cup plain non-fat Greek yogurt
1 tsp. Agave nectar
1/2 cup whole wheat pasta
1/3 cup pasta sauce
1 thinly sliced, baked organic chicken breast prepared with reduced fat Parmesan and bread crumbs
1 apple

I got up and did thirty minutes on the elliptical. I did lower body this afternoon. I ran for an additional 25 minutes when Ryan got home from work.

SO WHY ARE MY JEANS NOT FITTING ME?! This is how I live my life! It's not like this is some sort of new routine for me (well--I added in the running because I have never really encountered a fat runner, so I thought it might help.) Why is it that even though I am doing everything right, everything is going wrong?!

I have been particularly depressed about this today because of the jeans I wore. I specifically remember wearing them at an event last September. I hated them because they were so baggy and they felt as if they weren't going to stay on. Today, while I was able to zip them, it wasn't pretty and I was sporting a ridiculous muffin top. THIS IS NOT FAIR!!!

That doctor better be able to fix me on Friday, because if something doesn't change soon they are going to have to put me on suicide watch. I wish I could be content with the fact that I am healthy, but I have to admit, as shallow as it is, my entire self-esteem pretty much revolves around how I look. It's just not good.

But this chicken was.

4 comments:

Heidi said...

Are you eating enough calories so that body is not holding onto them unnecessarily? It sounds like you are, but I just wanted to throw that out there. I hope the doctor has some answers for you, because that's just maddening!

Lindsay said...

Heidi, I actually just calculated my calories for today and it was probably about 1400-1500. That should be plenty. I hope the doctor has answers, too.

Reb said...

If it's any help, I think you are HOT!

perfectlycrazy said...

I'm sorry this has been so frustrating. I can understand where you are coming from. Before I got pregnant with Addy, I put on 10lbs out of no where. It was weird and the doctor didn't have any answers for me. Of course, then I got pregnant... I'm really hoping I don't have the same problem again.

I think you look great by the way!